“Your children need your presence more than your presents.”
(Jesse Jackson)
What wise words and a great reminder at this time of uncertainty and unrest. Priorities have changed and this may or may not mean a change in the time and focus available for family in general and our children in particular.
Whether we have less ‘time’ available (becuase of extra commitments to help make ends meet) or more (because of less work available) it is not always the quantity but the quality that we can control.
Be present when you are present
How many times are we there in body but our mind is elsewhere?
We may be worrying or thinking of what needs to be done in some other area of our lives.
Chinese Whispers
The symbol in Chinese for listening is made up of a number of characters which depict listening with your eyes, ears, heart and undivided attention. When children (anyone!) is listened to in this way, they grow as individuals.
Making Memories of Us
This is the title of one of my favourite songs by Keith Urbane. Recently a dad was reflecting on the commitment he made to ‘making’ time for his daughters. The awareness that, especially when they are younger, we are in many ways creating their memories prompted him to make time and it has been incredible not just for them but for him.
Given that time is fixed (only 24 hours in a day, we cannot make more or save some over) that means we have to prioritise. Rather than thinking of what is not possible, focus on what is.
Most precious memories usually involve being with you rather than getting things or going to elaborate places.
If they were to reflect right now (if they are babies just work with me on this!) what memories would they have of you and their time with you.
At this time of the year as the leaves turn gold, perhaps it is the perfect time to reflect on what might be the golden moments for your child and family. What memories of ‘us’ would you like to make over the weeks and months ahead?
I would love to hear from you. If you have any thoughts, stories feedback or ideas you would like to share, please forward them to me at marian@theparentcoach.ie
