September and back to school – or maybe it is September and time to start school!
Each new year brings change in lots of ways but starting play school, big school, secondary or college are very much transitions. As parents we are both observers and yet in some way part of those transitions and while they can be exciting times, they can also be very anxious times. Three key things to remember about transitions.
Transitions begin with an ending and end with a beginning.
Acknowledge that this is the end of a particular stage. They have made many transitions already. From milk to solid food, crawling to walking, having a few words to speaking sentences. It is a natural part of their development.
Starting or moving on through the schooling system is part of that development.
As a parent it may be that you have to acknowledge that this is a new stage. An end to a time when you were the sole influence or where you could control or chart their every move and friend. A start perhaps to a time where they become more independent in little or big ways (depending on age and stage). By acknowledging it we can accept it and then go with the flow rather than try and resist it.
Questions are the answer!
•What are your expectations for the time ahead?
•What are they based on (popular myths, family or friends experience, your own previous experience)?
•What might you find most challenging about this stage?
•What do you do really well as a parent that will help you during this stage?
•Knowing them as you do, what will be most important to remember in the time ahead and how can you be of most help?
•What might you need to let go of?
•What is not negotiable?
Often we can be frustrated when our (unidentified) expectations are not being met and we get disappointed over and over again. Are they realistic?
Challenge your thinking!
The time is now!
I heard a discussion recently which highlighted that a lot of 2nd level education is geared towards 3rd level entry. Primary is to prepare for Secondary. Pre-school is to prepare for…………..
It might be easy for us (and our children) to loose sight of where they are now and focus on where they are going. We strive to prepare them for the next step, next transition, for life. The best thing we can do is meet their current needs not just future ones. So;
•Be present when you are present (think about it!).
•Do one thing a day that is not on a list.
•Don’t sweat the small stuff.
‘The prime purpose of being four is to enjoy being four – of secondary importance is to prepare for being five‘.
Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Handbook, 1985
