“Children learn as they play. Most importantly, in play children learn how to learn.”
O. Fred Donaldson, American Martial Arts Master
It may seem obvious to say that play is an important part of a child’s life but it is important to remember exactly why that is.
• It helps children to be active, make choices and practice actions they are learning as they grow.
• It helps their development physically, mentally, emotionally and language wise.
• It allows them use their imagination and creativity which is an essential life skill.
• It helps them adapt socially.
• The list is long. It helps them discover, experiment, create, concentrate, express ideas, develop muscles, invent, role-play (pretend to be someone else), share possessions, show off (children like to let others know what they can do)……………….
You can see why it is often said that play is a child’s work!
Some tips for parents;
Follow your Child’s lead
Don’t rush in to show them the ‘right’ way to build a house with bricks or colour. They may approach it in their own different ‘right’ way.
If they are older you may ask if you can help them with what they are doing. Perhaps you might parallel play. This is where you do it beside them without taking over. If they do not want you to join in you can ask if you can sit and watch. That way you can still be near to them and talk to them about what they are doing.
Control your urge to Control!
Some parents are quite structured and organised in their own lives and this can spill over into their children and home. If that is so, it may be that you want to regulate when play time is or when and where it can happen. Baking, painting or making a fortress from all the furniture can be messy jobs! Just be aware of whether or not your own style or preference may be impacting the opportunities for messy or unstructured play. How can you work around it?
Check the Environment
Are there distractions such as loud noises, a TV or computer which might be more appealing at that moment for the child but less beneficial?
Is the room or area safe to explore or move around?
Are there too many toys around? It is often a good idea to put some away which means they will play with those available and then have the variety and excitement when others are re-introduced.
Doing v Watching Toys
Great toys are the ones which allow your child explore, do, pretend etc and get involved which is more fun and usually more important for all round development as mentioned above.
Match with Developmental Stages
Growth and development is a process not a race. Most children go through this process but children can be at different stages at different ages.
Books and the Web have a wealth of resources which will suggest the process and progress for normal development. Check what stage of that process your child is at rather than just an age check.
It is best to offer toys which are matched to the stage they are at or just beyond (as they will be a slight challenge). If they have outgrown the toys they may be bored and if they are too far beyond their capabilities, there will be frustration.
You are their Favorite Toy
Sometimes we might encourage independent play as it means we can get things done while they are occupied. Make sure they get more than the leftovers of your time. If needs be, make a play date with them. Put it in your diary or on your ‘to do’ list (if you are someone who has either or both) and make it a priority. Their lives depend upon it……..
“It is in playing, and only in playing, that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in being creative that the individual discovers the self.”
D.W. Winnicott, British pediatrician
I would love to hear from you. If you have any thoughts, stories feedback or ideas you would like to share, please forward them to me at marian@theparentcoach.ie
