Why toddlers run away
No sooner do you lift your toddler out of the car, set him down on the footpath and turn to wrestle his buggy out of the boot of the car than he suddenly darts away. When you finally catch up with him it’s clear that he doesn’t want to go in the buggy today — he wants to walk on his own.
That’s the desire at the heart of this problem. He’s not running away to be bad on purpose or to defy you. He simply has a new sense of independence combined with legs that can run. Toddlers love the feeling of being free and running around. You can encourage it as long as you can control where they run.
What you can do about it
No amount of teaching will ensure that your toddler is always as cautious as he should be, so it’s vital that you take responsibility yourself for keeping him safe. That means being hyper-vigilant about always creating an environment that’s safe for your child.
Stay close to him
If you’re in a safe, open space where you can see your toddler and he can see you, it’s okay to let him run ahead of you. Most of the time, if you don’t yell or run after him, he’ll stop on his own, turn around to see your reaction, and run back to you when he sees you’re not coming after him. But don’t take any chances if you’re in a crowded area or around cars. You have to keep up with your toddler, children this age love to hide, and letting them out of your sight is just too risky. You’d never forgive yourself if he were lost in the crowd.
Show him where he can run. Let your toddler explore a safe area (like a park, where he’s safe from cars and you can see him from a distance) freely and at his own pace. Even in a park there are places you’ll want to stop him from running: into the bushes, for instance, or through the mud! But he’ll accept these limits more easily and learn to police himself more quickly if there are lots of places that he is allowed — and even encouraged — to run. The message you want to convey is that running is fine as long as he runs in the right place at the right time.
Engage and entertain him
Toddlers often try to cut loose when they’re out doing shopping etc because they’re bored or miss your attention. Try to engage your little one in the shopping and chores you do together to make it more fun. One Mammy’s secret: “I ask my daughter to help me push her buggy. It makes her feel like she’s doing something important.” Another Mammy says: “I con my toddler into holding my hand by saying that I don’t know where I’m going and I’ll get lost otherwise. Now that he’s slightly older he’s glad to help — while falling on the ground laughing at me. Try slowing your child down by bringing along his favorite pull-along toy. This is also wonderful for your child’s motor skills. Or, ask him to help you pick a bunch of bananas or show you where the apples are. Toddlers love to be helpers!
Explain how you expect him to behave
Tell your toddler how you expect him to behave before you begin something like the shopping. But make sure you really spell it out for him. Instead of saying, “Can you be a big boy and hold my hand?” say, “Remember, you need to hold my hand when we’re in the shops.” Expressions like ‘big boy’ often backfire, toddlers turn around and say, ‘I don’t want to be a big boy’.
Encourage him when he does well
When he resists the urge to run wild, reinforce his good behavior by telling him what he did well.
Keep him in his buggy
While the running-away phase lasts (it usually resolves itself between the ages of 18 months and 2 ½ years), it’s best not to let your child walk until you can leave crowded streets for somewhere more child-friendly, such as a nearby playground. Buggys are invaluable for keeping your toddler close, and since he must be strapped in to ride safely in his buggy, it isn’t like you’re “tethering” him the way you’d tether a dog. Plus, there are plenty of ways to make your little guy feel like a passenger instead of a prisoner. Bring a toy for him to play with and take him out of the buggy when you stop for lunch. But keep his needs in mind. Sitting for long periods of time can be quite challenging for some toddlers. If you know your little guy isn’t good at it, try to find a way to do your more time-consuming tasks without him.
Play “Catch me if you can.”
One 21-month-old’s Mammy told us, “When our little boy runs away, rather than chase after him or yell at him, we call his name in a funny, animated voice and say, ‘Hey, can you catch Mammy?’ Then we turn and slowly ‘run’ the other way — we only go a few inches, but it’s enough to entice him. He immediately comes running. We let him catch us and then we scoop him up and make a big deal out of his accomplishment. We clap and celebrate and then go on with what we were doing.” This is a great way to turn the situation around — as long as you scoop your child up before he asks you to catch him! Toddlers love to be caught because it makes them feel secure. But you don’t want to make this a two-way game in a busy public place where your toddler could easily get away from you!
Use a carrier or harness
If you or your toddler needs a change from the buggy, two other safe options are a backpack-type carrier (if you can carry him comfortably) and a toddler harness. Some people feel that a harness demeans or imprisons toddlers; others feel that they’re the best possible means of providing freedom and safety. Most children don’t mind wearing harnesses as much as other adults mind looking at a child in one. If you’re uneasy about the idea, don’t try to compromise with a wrist strap. If your toddler is walking at its 3-foot extent on a crowded footpath, someone could easily walk between you without noticing and send him flying.
Take him home
Taking your toddler home because he’s made a break for it won’t necessarily help him understand that he’s done something wrong. He might see going home as a reward, or miss the connection altogether. Still, if you’re really anxious and terrified about how he managed to get away from you, it’s a good idea to take him home until you feel better. Do what you think is best, but don’t assume your toddler will see the link between his running away and your returning home immediately. He may be too young to understand this as a consequence instead of a normal chain of events.
Don’t waste your time on warnings
It’s an age-old tactic for parents to give their children three warnings before punishing them for whatever they may be doing wrong. But there’s no sense in trying this on toddlers — they’re too young to understand the significance of a series of warnings. For children this age, one warning is fine, but a countdown is futile.
Teach him safety stories and songs
Read your toddler books about the importance of staying close to you, or make up a song about safety to press the point home — but only after you’ve tried everything else.
Information provided by babycenter
